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God: “My Beloved Sons and Daughters of Mount Calvary Christian Center, You’re Doing it All Wrong…”

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Dear Mount Calvary Christian Center,

My beloved sons and daughters, this is your Creator. As you know, normally I reach you through a prayer or a miracle, but since I haven’t written a letter in so long, I thought I would reach you in this manner.

I was going to write this sooner, more specifically when Justin from CHS wrote this article about your filing a lawsuit, but I kind of got sidetracked by the rest of the world. It wasn’t until I saw (on Evan Bush’s twitter feed) you try to obtain a temporary restraining order against the Uncle Ike’s Pot Shop next door, that I realized I had waited too long to say something. Yes, contrary to popular belief, I sometimes make mistakes.

This isn’t about passing judgement on others and what they choose to do, even though I probably should remind you, that is my job. But it’s more than that. It’s about looking at this situation in a whole new light. No pun intended, even though you know, I’m all about the light.

In short, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG.

Instead of condemning the pot shop, you should see this as an opportunity! I know you don’t support marijuana and anyone who chooses to consume, even though it’s a plant of the earth and I created it. But while you’re wasting your time and energy trying to shut down the pot shop, you’re missing out on a huge opportunity to speak to the souls who enter the store, and spread the gospel. My son’s gospel! And without the pot shop, the souls you desperately want to save will disappear.

Think about this: you are a church next to a pot shop. How frickin’ cool is that? You are now relevant. Use it to your advantage. Not only should you befriend the employees next door, especially when they offer you coffee and donuts, but you should take out an ad in the local newspaper that states: ‘We are the church next to the pot shop.‘ You may be surprised how many people walk through your doors next Sunday morning.

I must go now, as there are more pressing matters I must tend to.

Your loving Creator,

God

 

Disclaimer: This isn’t really a letter we obtained from God. This is actually made up letter of what we imagine God would write.

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Manic Conrad

Manic Conrad

Editor at Seattle marijuana
Manic Conrad is editor of High Above Seattle. His past exploits include purposely wandering around aimlessly, before accidentally confronting his biggest fear and dream, standing face to face with a large bear.

Comments

  1. Exactly what I was thinking: This is a ministry opportunity many pastors would eagerly embrace. Why not set up a table outside with free coffee and munchies, along with info about the church? A lot of pot-shop customers are middle-aged or older, and it’s safe to say many of them are lonely and/or in some kind of pain, and might welcome a bit of warm human contact. In other words, the true Christian approach would be to ask, “How can we love the people this store brings to our block?” rather than “How can we get rid of them?”

    • Very said said! Rather than going on the ‘defense’, instead, go on the ‘offense’ and request civil and logical dialogue as a means of addressing your primary concerns and fears, and how the whole situation can reach an, objectively and realistic ‘stalemate’ (i.e.) a “win-win” for the Church and its’ constituents. As for (Uncle Ike’s)…they already have have the law and financial resolve on their side..so they don’t need any extra support for their case, as it is within its’ rights and just cause’ to be and remain, in the right. To date, I seriously doubt that the Church can say that (U.I’s.) has caused ANY provable and unforeseen trouble or hardship to the Church or its’ ‘Teen Center’. The Churches’ belief and faith should be all that is required of its’ members to “yield-not-to-temptation” as their Bible calls for, regardless of where that ‘temptation’ hails from…be it lust felt between members, altar-boys, drugs or anything else. IJS

  2. The church is undoubtedly more dangerous than the pot shop. After all, when was the last time that someone killed in the name of a joint?

  3. Uncle Ike’s is the ONLY place in this neighborhood that doesn’t sell pot to kids. I think the church needs to redirect their energy on the illegal selling of weed and ACTUAL drugs around the hood.