Pineapple Express, a strain we’ve reviewed before… but not from one of our new favorite producers. Clandestine Gardens‘ take on this beloved strain is a breath of fresh funky air. We got an eighth from Have-a-Heart (in Fre[ak]mont, home of the Solstice Parade happening this weekend) for $50.
Clandestine is an indoor-only for operation, I’ve had their flower before and been impressed with the quality, freshness, and overall experience (stoned as f***). It’s worth noting that each strain comes with a temporary tattoo of the strain name, which is pretty cool.
Novelties aside, they have a deft knowledge of producing weed. With decades of growing experience shared between the lead cultivators, Clandestine is focused on featuring some of the finest cannabis Washington has to offer. It’s a song and dance we’ve all heard before (“the best”), but these folks really own it. Typically their products go fast, with new strains arriving frequently – so get it while you can.
Let’s talk some numbers:
THC A: 22.9%
Strain: Pineapple Express
Harvested: 04/19/16 (imagine that)
Smell: Sweet + Earthy + Piney
Taste: Cotton Candy + Lemon
Onset: 4-5 minutes after smoking, kind of a creeper
High: Time Slows Down + Balanced + Groovy + Munchies
Pineapple Express is the child of Trainwreck x Hawaiian. Typically the high is known for it’s productive, creative nature – often long lasting, and energetic. Medically the strain is used to treat pain, inflammation (associated with autoimmune diseases), and psychiatric conditions.
The buds are fluffy. They look like little strawberries, but with tufts of green. Of course, it’s the other way around, but looks can be deceiving. Absolutely doused in kief, Clandestine’s Pineapple Express looks as good as it smells/tastes/delivers/etc.
There was a super fruity pine aroma, which intensified by snapping a bud apart. The flavor was notably sweet with hints of lemon. All around a pungent strain that could clear (or fill) a room, depending upon the crowd.
Pineapple Express is one of my favorites because of the feel good energetic vibe. Additionally, it carries a sedative property that is both relaxing, yet not tiring enough to create burnout. The strain represents a perfect balance, a reflection of gettin’ high at it’s best. Positive motivation, heady relaxation, and functionality.
I keep thinking about how there is a potential parody of the Polar Express here. CGI Tom Hanks would have a pineapple for a head, they’d be handing out edibles on the train, then again it’s already been done in movie form. This is the strain talking, by the way. Move along.
Clearly, Clandestine scores again. Find their products at: American Mary (Wallingford), Have-a-Heart (Fremont/Skyway/Greenwood), and The Novel Tree (Bellevue).